Laws of Boat Repair

First off, I have to disagree with this: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32819

First law, when doing repairs on a boat, one thing always leads to another.

Second law, Saturday Night Live is not the best source of how-to training.

Yesterday, I went over to my beloved boat to do some maintenance before taking off for China (not in the boat, she’s staying here).  The plan was to fill in some chips on the bow where I’ve hit the dock and to tighten up a bunch of screws holding various pieces of molding in place in the cabin.  Plans change.  I started off working on the bow.  That part went well, I sanded it down, cleaned it and puttied it up, then smoothed it out.

Leaving it to dry, I took off my latex gloves (FORESHADOWING ALERT a move I would soon come to regret) and went in to the cabin to tighten up the screws.  While so doing, I realized that a starboard side panel couldn’t be tightened well because the wood was broken, so I removed it to epoxy it back together.  As I removed it, I realized that it was a little damp behind it and decided to remove the lovely wine-label panel below it.  Upon doing so, I discovered a waterfall had developed between the port and the electrical wiring.  Generally I’m a fan of waterfalls, but not in my boat.

I conferred with my neighbor (who is opening a Brasserie in San Mateo for anyone in the area) who said I should remove the old caulking and replace it.  Will do!  As I said, plans change.

Off to West Marine I go, buy caulking and acetone and hurry back.  I began to dig out the old caulking with my trusty Swiss army knife  (Oh yeah, never clean a plastic sided Swiss army knife with acetone) noticing that my arm was really bothering me, lots of little electric shocks travelling up it.  Now, this is pretty normal for me since I’ve got a bad nerve in my neck, but when I touched the metal window frame with my left hand and got a matching shock, I knew something was wrong.  My boat was trying to electrecute me.  The water had seeped from the window frame down the side into the wiring providing a clear path.  I unplugged the boat before continuing.

Little known fact:  I was indirectly struck by lightning once.

So, once the Indian Summer was no longer trying to kill me (repeat, she only does this because she loves me), I was able to finish the cleaning and get to the caulking portion.  Here’s where the SNL thing comes into play: I don’t know how to caulk, but in an odd coincidence, I had turned on the tv upon returning home the previous night and caught a truly icky SNL skit starring Jason Lee all about caulking.  SNL thus became my caulking guide.  It wasn’t pretty.  Here’s where I realized I should have saved my gloves.  Theoretically, caulk goes on in a pretty little line called a bead, exactly where it is supposed to go.  In my hands, its goes on it spurts and starts and globs and I have to mush it in with my fingers and wipe off the spills with my palm.  And that’s before the tube bursts.  I really hope the stuff isn’t carcinogenic.

The good news is, I don’t think the windows will leak for a while.  The bad news is, as windows go, they aren’t so functional anymore.

I mentioned this to my mother and apparently the inability to caulk is another trait on the Henschel gene.  Up there with hitting things with a hammer and "Why should I pay someone else to do this?  I’ve got a brain, I’ll damn well do it myself."

Indian Summer Sailing

Went for an afternoon sail this Saturday with Chris V. as first mate and his partner Ken as the newest guinea pig of my sailing school.  It was a gorgeous day – sunny, not too cold, with winds that never got over 15 knots but never got below 5.  Basically, exactly what you want for a gentle afternoon of sailing.

Since Chris is planning on buying his own boat, I felt it imperative to put him in charge and relax on deck.  He showed off just how far over my boat can heel.  So for all those who have been going "did we hit 30 degrees yet?", oh sweeties, 30 degrees ain’t nothin’. 

The boat sails quite well heeled over and no one fell off and a fine time was had by all.

Chris and Ken have also raised the bar for all my other crewfolk.  You see, they showed up in matching t-shirts.  A crew that not only brought food but wore uniforms!!!!!